Remembering Dad on November 30th

Remembering Dad--November 30th

[Photo by Janice and processed by Amy]

Mother's Easter feast of 2008 is worth remembering.  This Easter Sunday photo brings together things Dad dearly loved:  family, faith and food.   

Dad, we miss you, especially today.
Love from us all

 

Dad's Sunset

We Five Brothers

Our Dad's cremains were buried yesterday morning at Violett Cemetery. It was a cold, crisp Saturday morning as all of our parents' descendants gathered for a brief yet dignified religious burial. After the final prayer, brother Paul helped the attendant lower the vault to its final resting place. Each of the eight grandchildren, their spouses/partners, and the two great-granddaughters dropped a beautiful white rose into the grave. We lingered, shared hugs, and repeatedly looked across the field at the house in which we were raised when our family first moved to Goshen. The rest of the day was to be long with two two-hour visitations punctuated by family meals. Long, but also peaceful and utterly supportive.

"Early remembrances of church"

Dad left us a single-spaced handwritten page of his early recollections of going to church:

Early remembrances of Church

We regularly attended church from my earliest memory, going to S.S., church and Sunday evening meetings, and of course the Evangelistic Meetings every night for 8 to 10 days.

In my earliest years, we alternated Bethel church, 3 miles SW of Wadsworth on Mennonite Hill, with Guilford Church, NE of Seville. Guilford was an old church with no basement, and seating was divided, women on the left and men on the right. There were two aisles, and three seating sections, the center section divided by a wooden division a bit higher than the seat backs. My parents used to sit on opposite sides of the division, to be together and to better handle the children.

[diagram, also showing the 'Amen corners']

Both churches had sheds for parking, originally used for horses and buggies, but later for cars. The sheds have long since been torn down, and Guilford Church is also gone, though the cemetery remains.

Sunday School classes were in the main room for the most part, with no dividers, usually only one empty bench or two between. They did fix up a small space in the furnace room, a partial basement, for a small class of boys that I recall, and also used the coat rooms, or "ante rooms" for classes for small children.

Each Sunday we got a picture card on the lesson, with a brief lesson story on back, and the "Beams of Light" S.S. papers. Our techer had a picture scroll of teaching young children, a larger picture like the one on the card. Bertha Hunsberger, a single lady, quite heavy, was a primary teacher I remember.

"Favorite Songs (for Funeral/Memorial Service?)"

Dad left us the following handwritten notes (the numbers refer to the blue "Hymnal, A Worship Book Prepared by Churches in the Believers Church Tradition [1992]":

Favorite Songs (for Funeral/Memorial Service?)

524 "What mercy and divine compassion" (Really my personal testimony!)

576 "If you but trust in God"
581 "Take Thou my hand, O Father"
497 "Come, ye disconsolate"
506 "I sought the Lord"


Would need others to "lighten" it up a bit, perhaps.

For Worship, Red Book--Eternal Father, when to Thee

75 "Holy, Holy, Holy"
82 "Great God, How infinite art Thou"
62 "Who is so Great a God"--would need a good group of singers
352 "Gentle Shepherd, come and lead us"

I really love hymns!

"Scriptures to Consider for [my] Funeral"

Amongst Dad's recollections of childhood, school, college, family and work, I came across the following page, written in his hand:

Scriptures to Consider for Funeral

I have done a lot of underlining in my Bibles, and one day, in my King James Version, I was struck by two verses nearly side by side (on different pages, of course).

Psalm 17:15b "I shall be satisfied, when I awake, with thy likeness."
Psalm 16:11b "In thy presence is fullness of joy; at thy right hand there are pleasures for evermore."

In a similar line, are:
II Cor. 3:18 "But we all, with open face beholding as in a glass the glory of the Lord, are changed into the same image from glory to glory, even as by the Spirit of the Lord."
I John 3:2 "Beloved . . . we know that, when he shall appear, we shall be like him; for we shall see him as he is."

Of course I Cor 15 is a terrific passage, and includes v. 49, "we shall also bear the image of the heavenly" among its many other wonderful promises; and the timely admonition of v. 58 "be ye steadfast, unmoveable, always abounding in the work of the Lord".

And Phil. 3:21 speaks of the "change of our vile body, that it may be fashioned like unto his glorious body".

Wonderful prospects! And assurances.

Dad

J. Robert and Virginia Kreider

It now seems almost dream-like that Dad was this healthy as recently as the approach of the July 4th weekend. Married for 68 years, Dad and Mother have been soul mates in life and faith, and arch rivals at Scrabble.

This once-so-vibrant Dad/college administrator/Mennonite minister/pacifist/golfer and follower-of-the-stock-market will soon be receiving hospice care. His mind can no longer add columns of six-figure numbers simultaneously at a glance, without using an adding machine. Never again will he entertain me as he used to, by arriving at the grocery checkout counter--the prices of the cart's contents added up in his mind, including taxes--searching in his pocket for the exact change. Never again will I enjoy anticipating the clerk's expression once s/he announced the total, only to realize that Dad's outstretched hand held that very same amount of cash.

I will be heading to Goshen soon. Thanks to all our dear friends for your prayers for Dad, Mother and the family. Evan

Celebrating Aunt Rachel Kreider's 100th Birthday

Aunt Rachel Weaver Kreider recently celebrated her 100th birthday. Had she been born even 50 years later, she surely would have obtained the doctorate (for she was qualified for admittance), become a distinguished professor, academic mentor and writer, but the depression years were not kind to Mennonite women with academic abilities but lacking independent financial resources. Even so, she somehow managed to attend graduate school, where she was an ardent pacifist--at a time when such views were neither popular nor tolerated by most students, faculty and administrators (see the interesting article by her son-in-law, James Juhnke on Rachel as a graduate student). As I recall, she obtained the M.A. in Latin, a milestone even today. While her husband completed his doctorate in chemistry, she started working on Mennonite genealogy and this led, decades later, to her magisterial 850-page work, co-authored with Hugh F. Gingerich, Amish and Amish Mennonite genealogies, a work which will surely be one of those rare studies that actually withstands the test of time.

She has authored or co-authored other publications, some of which include:

• The Mennonite Cemeteries of Medina County, Ohio, with a brief historical sketch of the churches.
• A History of the Eighth Street Mennonite Church, 1913-1978
• A History of the First United Mennonite Church, Wadsworth, Ohio, 1852-1952
• A Genealogy prepared for the descendants of Lloyd and Adelia (Stover) Kreider
  

Before I understood any of this and before the word "genealogy" entered my vocabulary, I knew Aunt Rachel as one who cast spells over me whenever she told stories. These were stories of ancestors, stories of families in deep difficulty, stories of family secrets (told with a twinkle of the eye that still persists), stories of struggles, little victories, losses, unemployment, hard times, family bonds, small achievements, broken hearts. All of these stories were told with a mixture of historical acumen and a sympathetic understanding of the characters. Through all of this, I do not remember her saying anything in an unkind way--it was just told quietly, 'the way it was'. True, there were a few more side paths explored than I usually desired, paths leading into other genealogies ("she was so-and-so's second cousin through Fanny" or whoever). Aunt Rachel was the one to show to my generation that our family has a rich and complicated history, and that we should not think of ourselves solely as Kreiders, for family trees are more complicated than a single branch bearing a single last name.

Today was truly a celebration. I have no idea how many people dropped by the Eighth Street Mennonite Church in Goshen, IN to wish her well, but during my 80-minute stay, there was always a reception lineup waiting to greet Aunt Rachel as she sat on a chair which was sufficiently raised to let her sit while people came to hug her and chat briefly.

The day also reminded me of loved ones no longer with us: Anna (Jim has just published some writing by Anna, the sales of which will add to the scholarship in her honour), Sara, Leonard, Carl, Don and Elda (those six alone would have provided an afternoon of unparalleled entertainment in the old days). A number of nephews, nieces, grandchildren, etc. had to be elsewhere. Ruth and Ken, Jim and others wanted to attend, but distance and schedules can be formidable obstacles.

These pictures certainly did not catch everybody (Aunt Evelyn to name but one) but they will hopefully give a bit of the flavour of this very nice low-key event, the sort of event that put Aunt Rachel at ease. For she enjoys nothing more than reconnecting with people (and she remembers names).

The reception line never seemed to diminish during the 80 minutes we stayed. Mind you, the most difficult thing imaginable for Rachel is being with a good friend and ending the conversation. In the upper right-hand corner, you can just see Emil (the organizer) standing beside Rachel (seated), the line stretching to the left.

In her inimitable way, Aunt Rachel spoke with each person in turn, always remembering them. As we see brilliant minds fade in some of those we love, it is encouraging to watch this centenarian hold forth.

Emil's wife, Louise was assisting at every turn, working the tables, greeting people everywhere. It was special for me when she came to speak with Dad and Mom, ensuring that Dad could hear what she said.

Soon after Dad arrived by wheelchair, someone very kindly told Janice that he need not wait in the long lineup to meet Rachel, but that he should go to the front. When Janice relayed this to me, I wheeled Dad right up front. Cousin Dierra was next in line and without hesitation, she knowingly winked and generously let us in. Well . . . all Rachel did was exclaim, "Robert!" and they both broke into tears. She had doubted that he would be able to come, and he initially did not think the outing would be possible. But Dad was having a good day, he was determined to go for Rachel's sake, and the outing was wonderful for him.

Dad was about 10 when Rachel came into his life by dating Leonard. In a sense, she has been his elder sister for 80 years. Dad always looked up to Leonard (tennis, academic achievements, commitment to the church), and admired Rachel's grasp of things. After Leonard and Rachel moved to Greencroft, the four of them grew closer. Leonard and Dad exchanged papers (Chicago Tribune and Wall Street Journal), they both watched stocks and plotted them carefully, Leonard frequently shared vegetables from his garden with the folks, and once Leonard and Rachel could no longer drive, Dad would take them to get groceries or a haircut. Dad was also faithful to Leonard during his final months in ways many people will never get to experience. I was so glad Dad's health enabled him to honour his eldest 'sister' today.

This shows Rachel, Janice and Emil, with Greg and Karen in the background. They are living in the cob house he built most creatively when not working in Antartica.

The folks got to converse with Eldon and Dierra, Donna (not in this picture) and her husband, Wayne (bottom left corner, they live in upstate NY, sold the family farm, but he is getting back into the maple syrup business, now that the new trees are about 10 years old.)

Many people kindly stopped by the wheelchair to greet the folks.
Although I place this picture after others, Leo was one of the first people to see and immediately get up to greet Dad. I think it was special for all of the cousins to see one of their fathers' siblings. (Leo's sister, Donna, can just be seen in the background.)


Here we see Merritt talking with Greg (Greg's wife Dorie served punch). Greg, Sara, Janice and I overlapped a bit at I.U., so I always enjoy seeing him again. Merritt and Dierra visited us in Vancouver recently, making them truly special people in our lives.

I got see see Alan and Ellie very briefly, but since we are going to their place for lunch soon, we saved our conversation for Tuesday. Here we see Alan listening to Eldon (Chicago).
These events are most certainly not about cakes, but this is the first time I have seen this written on a cake, so I had to photograph it. I later showed these pictures to Rachel, who loved each and every one. She told me stories about many of the people shown here. Interestingly, she was so busy meeting people that she never saw her cake except in this picture. She was quite impressed with it.

Aunt Rachel is now making a book which itemizes each card received, each phone call wishing her well, each visitor to her apartment, and the signatures of those who attended the celebration. Her life has revolved around family, genealogy, church, issues of interest to thinking Mennonites and friends. She has no interest in slowing down. Visiting her can be utterly energizing, stimulating, encouraging, and for us, empowering.

Frank is visible through the windshield

Lunch

Mom and dad hosted a lunch for Evan, Aaron and myself in the "private" area dining room shortly after they moved into Greencroft.  We were given menus with lots of choices and one could circle as many items as desired.  I think Aaron and myself were figuring out whether we each needed just the two ice creams or all three for desert.  Don't mom and dad look good here?  

photo by Evan